Media

First of all, I'm done halfway through, at 6 minutes. There is a remaining 6.5 minutes of wonderful music (which means this one is going to get AI copyright flagged almost immediately I think, but whatever... how she goes, maybe a few people end up seeing it). And that means that you should actually just skip to the real song on YouTube at that point rather than watch me sit around, tap my feet offbeat because polyrhythms trick brains, and sip on my remaining water. No, instead, you should listen to the last bit in full quality stereo. I love the Adam Jones' leads toward the end. And I've added the link here that should skip you to the right part of the song.

I'm not happy with my work towards the end or a really bad timing part near the beginning (and also the louder parts end up too loud in the mix), but that's the spirit of this whole project: perform the song, clip it, upload it, and feel no shame for being vocally inadequate (and on hilariously low tech... cell phone in cut out cardboard box on the tripod). I'll be doing this one much better in a year I'm sure... just gotta keep working at things you enjoy doing while you're here!

And this song really is about how short time is. I mean, also with an apocalyptic backdrop, but the message is clear: take action towards the better in the physical world like this is your final week. Each week. Survival is in driving forward through that which is difficult. And guys, I may be wrong because I've been very very wrong before, but: there may be some strenuous difficulties up ahead. Reach out to people. Check in. Help prepare each other for what may be to come; build each other up with words of encouragement and push each other to greater heights. The message of the song is an ominous warning, but also potentially an optimistic yet desperate call to action to move things toward the better, and not go down the drain as a civilization. Our actions in the here and now really do matter. And I could certainly be writing some of this more for myself than you.

“Pray we mitigate the ruin.”

So, given how precious time is, thank you for watching.

Singing isn't my trade and I'm not really so naturally gifted like some amazing singers out there, but home karaoke is something I've enjoyed increasingly in the past year to be able to focus on some personal development thing, just trying to improve at the dozen or so songs that I like to do... songs that either mean something to me now or meant something to me at some point in my life (meaning: not everything I cover I might endorse fully in message with my present-day mind). Music is so fascinating, how it can bring you to a frame-of-mind you had previously held, or draw up a memory from your past.

Anyway, my new project here, of which this is just episode one, is perhaps more about me than anything for an audience, really. You may benefit more by just going straight to listening to the actual songs and just using my wonderful musical tastes for guidance =) rather than my attempt. I wanted to a karaoke cover series right out of the gate in 2023... and then I fell right back into old bad habits. Perfect is the enemy of good, and perfect is most certainly the enemy of “good enough”. This video uses my phone's microphone, unfortunately, which makes the sound a fair bit less lively sounding than it might be, and I've not EQ'd anything, etc. The singing series is going to be as raw as it needs to be just to get going and doing. I could wait forever because I am truly never fully satisfied with my own performative output (there are timing issues in my performance here, especially during the first bit... so be it... something to work on). One of the main reasons for doing this is that I also want to face up against my own stage fright in performing for others. Making a video like this has in the past has been very tough for me, as I'm usually hyper-aware of my own shortcomings in ability... and as much as I love to pretend I'm never self-conscious about what other people think, that's clearly just not entirely true, at least not about everything. But it is certainly something I am trying to further temper. I hope some of what I hear in my mind and feel in my heart when I sing translates through all the same. I believe we release the best of ourselves when we are less concerned about what's going on within the crania of others.

Anyway, these are the songs I have enjoyed listening to. These are the songs I like to sing when I'm down here in the basement/office. In no particular order... I was actually going to start with a King Crimson classic. Another day. This is my performance of “Disillusioned” by A Perfect Circle. I hope you like it.

This short, simple song was recorded in March 2007, possibly under the influence of psilocybin. Direct line-in guitar to PC back in college at SAIT Residence, which means the tone is pretty bad. But I still captured a feeling I had. The melody starting at 0:28 that brings it to resolution is what is makes it work I think. It almost takes off, and then it slows back down and fades away.

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